Op-Ed: The Lounge | A Column for Men: Success is Productive, Not Just Busy

I heard a phrase once that stuck with me, “if you want a successful man, you have to deal with a busy man.”

As with many things we discuss here, this phrase must evolve to account for proper context as well as the correct desired outcome. Busyness is not the same as productivity, neither does it equate to success or goal achievement. It is not merely enough to have lots of things going on, to be pulled in multiple directions, having a calendar filled to capacity, etc. There should be a goal in mind that is attainable. All things should be pointing toward that goal and be aligned with its capture.

What I have uncovered in my journey of self-discovery is that I wasn’t asking the right questions. Even as I write this entry, and learning more about large language models, prompt engineering, and artificial intelligence, I realize that I am still not always asking the correct questions. We must dig deeper, go beyond the surface and get to the root of our workaholism and need to stay busy. I would be remiss if I didn’t recommend seeking professional assistance with unpacking some of those behavioral traits, coping, defense, and deflection mechanisms, and avoidant personality symptoms. This courageous step (one that I take every week) is monumental in positive personal development. If you take nothing else away from this article, it is do not be afraid of or to begin therapy.